How does China see your Navy?

During a documentary on world navel power made to accompany Chinese criticism of the recent US fleet operations performed during ‘Operation Summer Pulse 04’, China managed to accurately portray its prejudices and friendships though its televised commentary on the world’s navies.

America – Raising threat

Though acknowledging that the US navy is larger than the Chinese navy, the announcer concentrated nearly exclusively on ‘Operation Summer Pulse 04’ a ‘Fleet Response’ exercise timed to counter mock invasion exercises being held by Chinese forces and that has been a source of tension between the two countries, no mention was made of the US navy’s key role in the recent Iraq conflict or of the actually substance of ‘Operation Summer Pulse 04’.

Their more advanced than we are and cruising around looking for a war.

Russia – Falling Power

The documentary concentrated on the shrinking of the US navy and the dilapidated state of many of its warships, lingering on the Kirsch disaster and on reports that the former soviet flagship Ivan the Great is in such a poor state that its engines could explode if pressed too hard.

We’re richer than you are, so bite our battleships.

China – Super Power

China portrayed its own navy as being modern and prepared to defend Chinese sovereignty against any military threat, oddly though less attention was devoted to the Chinese navy than to the talking up the British Navy or demolishing the Russia Navy. Also no mention was made of the destruction of a Chinese submarine off the coast of Japan or that it went down with its entire complement during a disastrous military show of force.

We will stand against any threat to our sovereignty, meaning President Chen

Japan – We spit on them

Despite Japan’s navy being the most advanced in Asia and being rated as number 5 in the world, Japanese sailors were depicted only in a 30 second clip showing them gyrating their hips and shouting slogans during a recruiting advertisement, and were not shown performing any kind of military operation.

A shot was also displayed of a Japanese navy poster bearing the slogan GO GO PEACE.

No mention was made that the MSDF is a purely defensive organization with no mandate to operate aggressively or that its substantial anti submarine capabilities are largely used to track Chinese vessels that approach Japan.

They live next door to us but we don't have to be nice to them.

India – Second fiddle

India was mentioned only as a footnote under Japan, and despite recent advances in technology and training that have made the Indian Navy one of the world’s best, it was allowed the same airtime amount of time as shots of Japanese pelvises.

India, err, if we pretend that their not catching up with us maybe they won't know.

Britain - Partner

Britain and China recently conducted joint navy exercises and are enjoying a conflict free relationship at this time, Britain’s Royal Navy, widely regarded as the foundation for the British empire was praised for its part in the Iraq conflict and no mention was made of the constant reduction in funding and manpower inflicted on it.

Tony was nice to us, he doesn't mention democracy very much and hasn't asked for Hong Kong back, we love Tony.

Taiwan – One China

Despite Taiwan having a modern navy and being in the process purchasing advanced submarines and Aegis vessels, no mention was made of Taiwan.

Taiwan doesn't have a navy, that would make it an independant country. It has ships.

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