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The Rabbit Hole: Reverse Culture Shock - Part 4

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posted Wednesday, 12 October 2005
Down The Rabbit Hole: Reverse Culture Shock - Part 4

 

  Welcome to part 4 of my indispensable guide to ‘Reverse Culture Shock’, the ultimate guide to finding out what surprises await you on your return home from China, and what troubles you may have when it comes to adapting back into your own culture after spending an extended tour of duty in the delightfully contrary world that those who have never been there call China, and those that have call ‘the twilight zone’. 

City Living

You walk into Shinjuku station at the height of rush hour, during the rainy season, and think to yourself, “Man, this place is BARREN”, then when you board said train you think “Everybody is so POLITE”.

You walk up to a busy Manhattan intersection, take a deep breathe, and exclaim “It’s so QUIET, and the air is so CLEAN”.

You walk into a hairdresser and are disappointed/delighted to find that the most ‘exotic’ thing that you can get there is a perm. You also notice that there is something ‘odd’ about the man who cuts your hair, but you can’t quite pin down exactly what it is.

You have to remember that the man walking around the subway with a mirror on a stick is more likely to use it to look up your skirt than he is to use it to check the waste baskets for empty plastic soda bottles.

You see a beggar with a cell phone and don’t automatically check to see if it’s yours.

You find that you can instantly recognize all of China’s ethnic groups but you can’t tell the difference between an East Coast -West Coast/Okinawa-Home Islands accent.

Base Humor

You are come across a website containing what is probably the vilest, most degenerate, morally repugnant image in the world, and the only adjective that you can think of is ‘unhealthy’. The same goes for any article regarding democracy, free elections, and human rights.

Those two things between you and the toilet basin are called a ‘lid’ and a ‘seat’. If you are female you lift up one and sit on the other. If you are male you leave one up for the next occupant to find, and then urinate liberally over the other.

You hear that prisoners being Guantanimo bay are being made to juggle hand grenades while having electrodes attached to their testicles and respond  ‘that’s nothing, I once had to spend 27 hours on a Train with Asian toilets and no running water DURING THE HEIGHT OF SUMMER’.

You are staying in a hotel receive a telephone call in the middle of the night but, instead of asking who it is, you instinctively say ‘Me no want want massage’, if you are a good boy or ‘Yes, me very like like’ if you are not.

When you visit a public rest room and want to ‘clean up’ afterwards, you instinctively reach for the tissue paper in your purse before the holder in the stall.

Your houseguests ask why there are ‘foot prints’ on your toilet seat.

You still call a rest room a ‘Wash hand room’.



 
   

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View Comments/Add a Comment (1)


1. Sarah Smith left...
Friday, 14 October 2005 5:17 am :: http://www.journalscape.com/rhubarb/

I enjoy enjoy all 4 entries very much. I lived in India many years ago and when I returned to the US wrote an essay much like these entries, but not nearly so witty and sharp as yours. After years on rickshaws and bullock carts, though, a ride in a bus going 60 mph on the freeway made me want to throw myself on the floor and hide under the seat. I kid you not.

And the shame of exposing my legs in a knee-length skirt. And the joy of eating utensils. Hmmmm...maybe it's time to revisit those old memories.

Thanks for an enjoyable reminder!