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The Rabbit Hole: What not to say in China, part 3

posted Thursday, 7 July 2005
Down The Rabbit Hole: What not to say in China, Part 3

 Once, a wise man, who will automatically be Chinese if you ask a Chinese person, but who I’m going to say was Japanese just to annoy my Chinese colleagues, laid forth these words of wisdom “All good things must come to an end”, and today marks one of these endings. Please welcome the final installment ‘101 things not to say in China’.


Do you like Pandas? (Inspired by dalong)

Yes, in fact I have a little one in my backpack right now
Yes, just so long as they aren’t in the Beijing animal gulag …. Er zoo
At $50 a gall-bladder, I can do without.
No, but I’ve heard that they taste like civet.
Hold my net, I’m here to grab one for Tokyo zoo
熊猫火锅 anybody?

Correct Answer: Yes, they are cute/好可爱

Do you like/know Yao Ming? (inspired by Green Apron Monkey)

Yao, Who?
要’Ming’? 我没有’Ming’
Only if they don’t put MSG in it
The Japanese basketball Dude?
The Guy from the Nike Adverts?
Did you know that Yao Ming is really only four foot eight? They use CGI to make him look taller.
Basketball’s for poofs

Correct Answer: Yao Ming, Yao Ming, YAO MING, Go Rockets Go

Do you like spicy food?

About as much I really enjoy the sensation of burning diorea
Sichuan curry, strong in the dark side is it, avoid it you must
Chinese chillies make my bottom burn
Pah, I’m a Scouser (don’t ask), I scoff at your mildly spicy dishes
Sure, make mine a vindaloo
In Texas, we have REAL spicy food
Spy Log: Day 51. I’ve made contact Zhang the butcher, he has offered me a highly dangerous biological agent

Correct Answer: NO

When will you go back to your own country?

When the statute of limitations expires
When our idiot leaders are thrown out
When my mother stops nagging me to get married
This IS my own country/这是我的家国
I come from Vancouver/Yokohama//Soho, there are more Chinese there than there are here
It lost its charms pretty soon after … started to occupy it
I claim this land in the name of the King/Queen/President/Emperor

Correct Answer: Why would I ever want to leave China?

Hello

Hello
Would you like to practice your English with me?
你说英语,是巴?
GO DIE
蠢子,你有问题
くたばれ

Correct Answer: SILENCE

What do you think about 神舟五号 (Shenzhuo V)?

It would make a nice paperweight
• I'd like to be the man getting all of the bribes from its construction
Strap a nuke on the top and you’ve got one more WMD than Iraq had
We have one, but its bigger
We had one, but it’s now owned by Microsoft
神舟? That’s like a Chinese version of the 神風, right?
Typical, the %^&$ Chinese can put a man in orbit and bring him back without a scratch, but I still can’t get my Chosun daily delivered without half of the Asia articles being cut out
And only 50 years after the Russians, I bet you’re proud.
Space travel is a conspiracy, just like the Kennedy assassination and low calorie soda

   

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1. dc left...
Friday, 8 July 2005 4:55 pm :: http://discover-china.blogspot.com/

Splendid, but I want the Correct Answer for the Shenzhou question.


2. freedom shine left...
Friday, 8 July 2005 11:29 pm

Maybe it is time for you to get out of China. You know, we have way too many western trash piled up in our nation.


3. ACB left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 12:01 am

Who are you calling western trash, I'm not some rich white American come trapsing around China on dady's credit card. Maybe you should get out of China, you might learn something.


4. ACB left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 12:07 am

I've seen the western trash, it's being sold to Chinese tourists along Nanjing road and its powering the Chinese economy.


5. Comment Deleted left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 12:13 am

[This comment has been removed by the administrator for violation of site rules. Regarding acceptable conduct

The use of obscenities is not permitted

Racist posts are not permitted.]


6. yuanme left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 12:18 am

ACB, "western trash"... from Microsoft?


7. The Angry Chinese Blogger left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 1:42 am

I'm sorry for the rant, but this is one of my pet hates, I've seen my own country overun with 'western trash' and our culture becoming bogged down with images from the US and Europe that contradict our own cultures and traditions and interfereing foreigners try to convince us that they are the norm and that we should change to accomedate them.

Shanghai is full of western trash, the Chinese people can't seem to get enough of western trash brands and western trash food, and by western trash I largely mean US product or counterfeits of US products that are poor quality, low value and sold at high prices to impresioable people who want to live 'the American dream'. It almost seems that places like Nanjing Road have more macdonalds, KFC and Pizza huts than Chinese restaurants nowadays.

Have some pride China, don't be fooled into thinking that if you shop like a westerner it will make you into one, an ddon't be fooled into thinking that you want to be western either.


8. yuanme left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 5:20 am

ACB, How do you teach people to think for themselves rather than get sucked into trends, propaganda, and commercialized life?


9. echo left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 1:20 pm :: http://echoes.blog-city.com

teach them critical thinking and trust they'll figure it out for themselves.


10. southerner left...
Saturday, 9 July 2005 11:55 pm

Where is freedom of speech. "racist remarks" are banned?


11. The Angry Chinese Blogger left...
Monday, 11 July 2005 6:55 pm

Yuanme

You do it very delicately by pointing out the contradictions in a none judgelental way. If you try to get a Chinese person to 'think' by telling them that the way that they are going abut thigs is wrong then they will get rather upset and think that you're being an arrogant outsider telling them what to do. Even if they agree with you a bit, or they agree but are not saying so because they are afraid to disagree with thei friends, they will be les tha favorable if you tell them that you are right and they are not.

This is true for most people, but in China it is particularly pronounced as they are more used to arguing than debating.


12. The Angry Chinese Blogger left...
Monday, 11 July 2005 6:55 pm

Echo

Easier said than done. The Chinese system actively discourages critical thinking because it leads people to conclude that the governemnt sucks.


13. The Angry Chinese Blogger left...
Monday, 11 July 2005 7:00 pm

southerner

This isn't America, the first amendment doesn't apply on this site. If I say no N word, then no N word.

Of course, I'd have to say in response to your comment, show me one white who is any better.


14. yuanme left...
Tuesday, 12 July 2005 4:32 am

ACB, Perhaps it isn't western trash that is intriguing to Chinese but perhaps the idea of choice.


15. The Angry Chinese Blogger left...
Tuesday, 12 July 2005 4:58 am

Maybe, but they seem to chose the trash more times than is healthy.


16. yuanme left...
Tuesday, 12 July 2005 6:31 am

Yes, that fat laden fast food is not too healthy. A little off topic, but I figured out a practical application for the chinese construction techniques. The east side of the U.S. has a hurricane alley and they need to replace a lot of structures every couple of years so why bother to build long lasting structures if they'will just be gone with the wind.


17. ACB left...
Tuesday, 12 July 2005 3:51 pm

Yuanme

No offcense, but I thought that was what they arlready did. Aren't trailer parks, wooden houses and shingle roofs low level enough?

On the down side, when Chinese houses colapse, they often have people inside.


18. woodentown left...
Thursday, 14 July 2005 1:12 pm

Hello, 我没问题. THESE GAGS MAKE YOU A 傻B.


19. ACB left...
Thursday, 14 July 2005 4:35 pm

That still leaves me one step above you.

For non chinese readers, Woodendown has no questions and thinks that I'm dense.


20. Special K left...
Sunday, 24 July 2005 5:46 pm

Ouch, a bit harsh on the westerners don't you think? I came across this site as a result of research for one of my classes. I realize that I may be opening Pandora’s Box, but what is wrong with the younger generation educating themselves about American culture? In my eyes we have very similar ideals, but it is the how that demonstrates the difference. The westerners are made up of cultures from around the world and for the majority of the population would not disrespect another culture intentionally. Most Americans are of multi-culture, which allows an open mind. I am not throwing politics into the mix for that is an agenda all its own. I am merely speaking about the average American that just does their best for their family. For those that pass judgment on others are merely equal to their counterparts. In regards to the younger generation of Chinese I feel it is more of interest of something new, and will pass as they mature; for the Chinese have always been known for their strong sense of culture and tradition. We do not wish to interfere with that.